'I'm So Going to Visit While You're Down There..."

I heard this quite a bit upon leaving the US two years ago. Friends, family, acquaintences were all making plans to jump on a flight to Sydney and enjoy a free place to stay. Even heard it when I was well-established here. Well, two years and a recession later, the visitors are in short supply. I know, I know....heard all the excuses so far: I'm waiting for the economy to get better, can't get work off, I'm drying my hair, it's baseball playoff season.

Well, those of you saving up to get married, this is a great place to get hitched. Anyone with babies? What's a better place to wake up at 4am?! As for that little financial difficulty stateside, well, your dollar goes really far here! On the US dollar, you could live like a king on kebabs and meat pies all week. Plus, flights within the country are pretty cheap, so you can be chilling Harbourside one day and sitting in a hammock with hippies in Byron the next, all for about $60.

I was fortunate enough to have a few friends this summer/winter, including a repeat visitor, someone who enjoys tropical North Queensland and both strawberries and fields. Then just heard that mom and Aunt Eileen are coming for a few weeks in November. That's the spirit!

But for all you Yanks waiting for the special moment when Qantas offers $250 return flights to Sydney, just know that your fellow adventurer Kev won't be down here forever. And then you'll be left to visiting Sydney without knowing the right kind of beer to drink, how to avoid getting hit by the buses and the easiest way to calculate the time difference.

In my first ever blogger plug, check out the great fares at http://www.vaustralia.com.au/. I heard this airline rules, hot meals and flight attendants.

9:07 is Now 10:07

Labor Day long weekend was also bday weekend. These are the little things that make four days pretty damn cool.

Friday: had birthday drinks with friends till I started to hiccup. I'm ok with my new age, an athlete's still in his prime, it's technically considered young and if in a band, I'd be entering my better, more mature phase. After Beauchamp, took the bus home while having my 1am dinner, a Reece's Peanut Butter Cup and Red Bull. No, I am not too old for this lifestyle.

Saturday: chatted with this cool girl Trinh for awhile, then got Turkish Delight and watched finish of Semi Pro and fave concert movie, Monterey Pop. Pretty much the script of how I wanted to spend a rainy/windy bday. At some point after going to sleep, time then went forward for daylight savings. It's like the Santa Claus of time came along and gave us an extra hour of sunlight. Leaving work in daylight hours is extremely underrated, and I will enjoy that for the next six months.

Grand Final Sunday: started as college football Saturday. Buckeyes won. Traded some good texts and made my way to the famous Golden Sheaf in Double Bay. Got Double Bay mixed up with Rose Bay and walked 30 min out of the way. While doing so, found $25 in the street. Somebody's getting both a train AND bus ticket this week. After pulling away from friends, walked back home and consumed more Turkish Delight. That place is like crack.

Monday: for the first time in forever, enjoyed a full football Sunday today, watched with fellow Yank, Tim. Giants won and Al Michaels is still announcing, both positive. More chatting after, followed by walking in the rain. Borders closed early, but just allowed me to come home and watch the season finale of Entourage. Did I not call that E was putting all his eggs in the Sloan basket?? Ari's entrance to the agency was classic.

And what's better than a long weekend is a short following week. And what's even better, baseball playoffs start this week, with an one-gamer tomorrow. Honestly, I don't ask for much.

Two Step

Today marks two years since I first set flip flopped feet in Australia. Way back then, George Bush was still screwing stuff up, Michael Vick was just going to jail and I didn't know NRL from Union. Fortunately, during that time, I've learned a few things about this place they call Oz. A digression of course, but whenever I hear that phrase, I don't think of Dorothy, but transcendent shortstop Ozzie Smith. The guy did backflips to go to his position. Why don't we have baseball players like that anymore??

OK, here are 24 things you may not know about Australia unless you move here. Why 24? Because I first thought of 20 and then kept thinking about funny things in this country.

The architecture is all over the place.

People really do say 'Gday' and 'no worries.'

Living north of the city isn't considered cool.

Contrary to popular belief, they don't really like Americans.

The weather isn't perfect.

Aboriginals are treated like a mix between American Indians and blacks. Yikes.

The country feels like America in 1964. That's a good thing.

These people know how to vacation. Or rather, holiday.

If you're not from Victoria, you don't tend to follow Aussie rules football.

The music scene is not good.

When not in maintenance, the Sydney train system is efficient.

Their politicians aren't dumb enough to be interesting.

They have an aversion to men's personal hygiene products.

They're not as sport crazy as advertised.

Queensland gets a bad rep.

Wine is a much better deal than beer.

Even if you're not a resident, you still need to file as resident 'for tax purposes.' Oh, of course.

People trust one another.

They feel better than New Zealand, but secretly know it's pretty cool over there.

Their newspapers are huge.

Rugby players don't really argue with refs, even after horrible calls.

They really like dogs.

They use the live auction format to sell a house.

They make a mean milkshake.


I can't imagine more valuable lessons than those. Oh, and when you get here and first meet people, don't be dissapointed if they think you're a Canadian.

Queen's Holiday

There is already a well-written detailed summary of the very same holiday in the blogosphere (cough, cough, Strawberry Fields), but here's my own two sense. Since last year, Trinh and I discovered tropical north Queensland in the form of Port Douglas, we decided to move a little south, in the vicinity of Brisbane. First stop, the iconicly granola Byron Bay.

Arriving in Byron was a bit of deja vu from Greyhounding it with Huw about a year and half earlier. Less Cheeky Monkeys and more Arts Factory this time. The weather was pretty much the same as in Sydney, but we put summer into our heads and so while the sun was shining, it was summertime. We rented bikes and surfboards, went to movies on cowprint pillows and saw some wicked sand sculptures. Trinh, not used to hippiedom in Australia, kept asking, 'who ARE theese people??' The Arts Factory was freezing, but we managed to get decent sleep in our concrete cube.















The start of many shuttle buses took us from Byron to Gold Coast, which seems like a gross version of Florida. And if you know my take on Florida.... We mainly headed up to this tourist trap (which was completely void of tourists) for the sole reason anyone comes to America: giant water parks and roller coasters. Thank you, Ricky Bobby. Since I haven't been to neither a water or amusement park in a good nine years or so, figured this would be the perfect time to see what's new. Ok, well, in Australia, not much. But some new rides for me, incluing a few that make you feel like you're in a kitchen appliance. The octopus was pretty sweet, where you can race against the other three people that are in the park.













From Gold Coast, we hit up the good ole Greyhound for some happy public transportation fun. Six hours later, and two subpar movies that kept me entertained, we landed in Rainbow Beach, pickup point for our Fraser Island tour the following few days. Rainbow is a nice little town, which I'm sure is run by our girl Debbie, a hotel/B&B owner who knows every Tom, Dick and Harry in town. She's always on the go, and always accompanied by her trusty furball of a dog, Suzie. Along with sandblows, an amazing sunset and multi-colored sandy beaches, Rainbow gave us our own kitchens and bathrooms. Amazing what four days of hostels can make you appreciate.













The experience on Fraser was fun, entertaining, bizarre, annoying, funny, tasteless, awkward, uncomfortable, fascinating, a bit scary, tasty and quite bumpy. And that was just in the tour bus. We've decided that 40 people is a wee bit big for our tastes, but that didn't stop us from enjoying Lake Mackenzie and Lake Wobby, two of the more scenic lakes you'll be freezing in. Tony and Wazza were engergetic and informed tour guides, but don't break Tony's rules: he reminds me of a roadie for AC/DC and his gruff demeanor really comes out when Frenchies do dumb things like not understand his rules. We got a 6am sunrise and hung out with dingoes, which are really mild mannered mangy dogs, or at least the docile ones we came across.



























After a stay in Rainbow again with Debbie and Suzie, our magical mystery tour brought us to Noosa. It was fitting to bookend the trip with Byron and Noosa. Whereas the flavor of Byron is incense, surfing, organic eggs and hippie buses, Noosa is more weddings, bottles of wine, white pants and well-behaved youngsters. Noosa even had the nicest Internet cafe I'm sure to come across. We ate expensive, kayaked without tipping over, saw another great sunset and even laid claim to our own private island. In short, we classed it up. While the Gold Coast was rife with nothingness and closed stores, Noosa was bustling until 10pm (laaate by Aussie standards). Fraser was teeming with tourists, but Noosa seems to be mostly an Aussie getaway.














One would think the discoveries of Queensland may be concluded, but there's more to be seen in wonderful tropical North Queensland. Next stop? After visting our pad in Rainbow, my vote is the Whitsundays. Stay tuned.

Wines, Wines, Everywhere There's Wines

After more than a year and a half of hearing about this magical place called Hunter Valley, where the wine is plentiful and the women...ok, well, it's just wine. I've been told by locals and tourists alike that Hunter Valley is a great place to enjoy the countryside of New South Wales while enjoying a glass of chardonnay (sp?). Although I'm a big fan of wine, this doesn't seem like my carafe of pinot grigios. But since we have some fellow Yanks in town for the summer, others new to Oz and one leaving, this seemed like an appropriate time to jump in the car for wine country.

A sunny Sunday afternoon seemed like the appropriate time and place for the road trip. We made sober Greg drive, although someone driving after a few drinks might be easier than asking an American to jump in a car on the opposite side, driving on the other side of the road. Let me just state that Greg did a fantastic job weaving through the roads of NW New South Wales, carrying four increasingly alcohol-fueled individuals.


















The process of wine tasting and wine appreication has always seemed strange to me. I didn't really 'get' Sideways and don't know why on earth someone would drink a perfectly good drink, then spit it out. I was the guy at each vinyard that would ask the remedial questions, like some third grader on a field trip:

So are you into wine like other people are into music? Like, it's an art or something?

What was the best year or time for wine? Like, the 60s were vintage for music, 50s were great for baseball.

Hey Gary, you know it's the 40th anniversary of the moon landing this week? Where were you on July 20, 1969?

All responded with something like, 'that's a great question,' but they probably just meant to say, 'ugh, another American moron who just wants to get drunk.' I'm not sure I learned alot about the process of wine making or could even decipher the difference between Tower Estate white and Pigg's Peak shiraz. When it comes own to it, it's wine and some tastes better than others. Good on these kids for making an efort, but it's like pizza in NY: it's all going to taste good to me, so serve it up.















Each of the vineyards we hit up had their own unique personality, and in some ways, that made the wine taste better. The first joint was pretty empty and had a surly lady forcing each glass on us like a drill sargeant doling out pushups. She's lucky that was our first taste of the day and we were just thirsty for anything (and Jaime had to go to the bathroom, so this place was most convenient).















As an aside, I thought the samples they offered would be a bit bigger in each glass. What, we don't get a full glass each time? Oh, the naive wine tatser. Second stop was Tower, which had a good vibe, good servers and a house that looked like we were in Arizona. Check, check and check. After a fanstastic kobe Bryant burger and bottle of red, we went to some monstrosity of a building that looked more like a rest stop equivalent of wine country that a small little vinyard. Wine was fine, but the gelato next door was finer.


Our last stop of the afternoon was Pigg's Peake. This will be most memorable not only for its name (and how can't you love that?), but the owners, Gary and Steve. These guys ruled, and served us past closing time. To Greg's amusement, Steve was wearing a echnicolor dream coat and fixed an old wine barrel outside, while three of us took cues from Gary and drank/ate like the boozehounds we were. We swore each of the guys took a liking to Jaime, probably because she bought about five bottles and promised to come back before she left Australia for good.
















After bidding Gary and Steve adeiu in the Sunday darkness, we cracked open a bottle of white and passed around the car like hippies at Woodsock. What didn I learn from the Hunter Sunday? Australian wines can hold their own with any in the world, Trinh likes desert wine (and so does her mom), Laura is a frequent visitor to Napa, and that seems about right, Jaime is a complete wino, but knows her stuff and Greg digs ginger beer and is a quick learner behind the wheel.

No matter that the purchased bottles were rolling around the trunk on the way home, it seems like a fitting part of the Hunter experience.

Hot Hot Heat

This is an uncharacteristically short entry, but since we're in the middle of winter (which isn't really much of a winter by normal standards), figured I bring this up. Why isn't there heat anywhere in this country?? It's colder in my house and office than outside. Insulation and thermostats are unknown in Oz. Maybe they just got used to being in the cold prisons from back in the day?

We decided on a road trip up to Brisbane for next month. Hoping this will be a fool-proof way to get around the winter chill for a week.

Potent Potables

Yesterday's 4th of July celebrations had us searching for the great American contribution of Budweiser. Although Aussies see the King of Beers as "cat piss," they humor us by offering Bud in six packs for the low price of $15. We were shocked and appalled that this was not the case on the nation's bday, and our home country beer was not on the shelves. Luckily, I had learned to live without our watered-down barley and hopps concoctions. Most of it is pretty tasty here and contains more alcohol...win-win, right? Except they sometimes call it "grog," not the most poetic of phrases. Have a seat at the bar, grab a middie or stuby and let's get pissed.

Carlton: I think of this as their Budweiser. Middle of the road beer, generally consumed by everyone and readily available at most pubs. When in doubt, go Carlton.

Tooheys: Maybe the poor man's Carlton, or Pepsi to Carlton as Coke. No complaints with Tooheys, Tooheys New or an of its brethren.

VB: From Victoria, you'd probably get laughed at a bit for bringing this to a party. Let's just say it has a "bogan," or white trash reputation. Not sure if it's the geography of its origin or its little stubbie bottle shape, but I'll go ahead and compare this to PBR. Having a VB (Victoria Bitter) usually garners a laugh.

Coopers: This is my go-to beer. They have pale ale and something sparkling, but I'll always go for the pale ale. It tastes pretty legit, has decent alcohol content and good green label. You even have to do a cool trick before opening: since there's sediment at the bottom of the bottle, you have to roll it back and forth a few times to break things up. In the U.S., this would be Sierra Nevada or Fat Tire.

Pure Blonde: This fairly new low-carb beer with the not-so-manly name is good if you're looking for a beer without the full potential for a beer gut. No complaints for this one, other than a small loss of masculinity when holding it at a bar and they've been showing the same midly humorous ad for more than a year straight. Comparison? Maybe one of those low carb beers by Miller or Coors.

Hahn: I can't recall much about this brand, other than they have an offshoot called Hahn Super Dry. I'll go with Michelob as comparison on this.

Boags, James Boags, James Squire, Blue Tongue, Little Creatures: these all seem to fit the same category as semi micro brew beers that are defintely worth a try, and maybe I should go for the variety pack somtime soon.

There are others, but appreantly not trying enough to catch my attention. It really is a good mix of full taste but not a full-course meal like English beers and bitter taste of Eastern European brands. Of course you can also get your hands on the likes of Carona, Heineken, Stella, Peroni, etc. but might as well go local on this one.

As PR representative of a foundation aimed at curbing alcohol consumption in Australia, I urge any visitors to take it easy "on the piss" and make sure you don't order a Fosters! (don't worry, you can't find it anywhere here)