For a few months, I've wanted to make a short trip down south to hike through Royal National Park. Saturday turned out to be a 25 degree (warm) day, so I decided to hop the train for Wollongong way. The express train dropped me out at Waterfall, what would be a fitting stop for this journey. My first hike took me to a place called Uloda Falls, which I suppose was a scenic spot about 5k from Waterfall station. From here, I decided to swap out my Rainbow sandals for trusty adidas snakers, which have served me well since 2001. This turned out to be one of my few good moves of the day, since a new path was uphill and rocky enough to warrant worn-out running sneakers. After reaching the peak of a scenic location, I decided to turn back and head for the waterall. But, um, where did the path go?? Oh, there it is...no, wait, that's just a bunch of rocks. Uh oh.
Royal National Park:
Just a few months back, an English backpacker got lost in the wilderness of the Blue Mountains, then he was miraculously rescued. Now, those thoughts crept into my head. Am I the next transplant to make headlines and do A Current Affair inteview about my ordeal in the woods? OK, maybe not that dire since I could still hear motorycles off in the distance. But where the hell was I? And am I stepping on a poisonous snake with every step? I was still getting mobile reception, which I suppose was a good sign, in case I needed to dial for 'directions.' Hi, Mr. Park Ranger...I'm lost...I see rocks, trees and more trees...where am I?
Then of course there's that moment of elation: I've found a path! Where it's going, I don't care. But after about 10 minutes, the path dissolves into more forest. Where'd it go? Is this another Blair Witch Project? When do I start yelling for someone??
OK, time to dig into my bag of outdoor tricks. What have I learned from Bear Grylls and Man v Wild? Has Crocodile Dundee taught me anything? Yes, as a matter of fact, they have. When you find a lake or stream, follow it back to civilization. And watch where the sun is setting, it will take you west (where my train was probably patiently waiting). I was starting to get pretty thirsty, and that's when I found Banana Hammock and his wife.
Mr. Banana Hammock was a proper Aussie bloke, in his Greg Norman-meets-Mick-Dundee hat. His leathery skin resembled a topless Iggy Pop. And yes, the revealing Speedo was a little distracting. But alas, other humans! I'm saved...sort of. They directed me along the stream, per Bear Grylls, back to me home base at Waterfall station. I even managed to snag a bottle of water from the couple, my guardian angels in the wilderness. The walk along, next to and through the stream lasted for another hour and half. Still walking around trees, still probably avoiding snakes, still acquiring whatever rash these plants have to offer. In these situations, one always has a random song in their head to keep them truly insane. Randomly as always, mine was 'Up, Up and Away' by the 5th Dimension. If only I had a balloon that could take me out of there.
Finally, FINALLY I came upon the closest thing that resembled a path and heard the sweet sounds of 21st century civilization. Trains, motorcycles and other transport weren't too far off, and they sounded so sweet. Of course I had stumbled back out at the exact spot I started my day: Waterfall train station. How do these things work out so well?? As for my next blogger plug, I downed two bottles of Powerade and bag of M&Ms as my 'lunch' while boarding the train back to Sydney.
There were a few casualties of this four hour tour, including one of my Rainbow sandals, big rip in my jeans and water bottle from Banana Hammock's wife.
Following my experience, I offer these tips if you decide to hike in the wilderness of New South Wales:
- Bring multiple bottles of water (duh)
- Bring sunblock (duh)
- Bring a map (duh duh)
- Don't listen to your Ipod before getting lost
- Don't hike alone(duuuuh)
Today, I've decided to sit in the comfort of my home and watch college fooball. USC is winning.
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