Monday, June 21, 2010

We Have a Black President Now?? Cool




















All in all, it's the same country. Strip malls, reality shows, right side of the road, guns. It's great to be back. But there have been a few changes since I left in 2007:

There's some kid Justin Beiber melting adolescent hearts. Gross.

Billboards are now electronic. Eh.

My Wells Fargo ATM takes check deposits without envelopes. Cool.

I drive a Pruis and it's everywhere on the roads. Yes.

There's a different receptionist on 'The Office.' I'm down.

Another Karate Kid? I'm not sure I accept.

The Lakers are still champs. I'm fine with that.

Talk Soup and Tosh.O are popular. Umm, ok?

Indie 103.1 is no longer. I feel a void on the airwaves.

There's alot of these 'dispensary' places in LA. Seems about right.

California doesn't work on Fridays. Less cars on the road, nothing wrong with that.

Orange County added more strip malls. It's ok, they were desperately lacking.

Gas stations, supermarkets and NYC taxis now entertain me with tv when checking out, filling up and going for an eventful ride.

There's a new noun I never knew about called Yelp. In verb form it's Yelping.

We get oil spills that can't be cleaned up. Ugh.

Animal Crackers are now in a resealable bag, not the box with a string.

I think they've extended the carpool lane on the 405 all the way to the 10. About time.

Basketball morons now go on tv for an hour to decide where they're playing next. Pass.

Monday, April 26, 2010

What I'll Miss About Sydney


















As I go hopping off into the sunset, figured this list is inevitable. It goes without saying that I'll miss all the cool friends and interesting strangers, of course. However, these are things that don't really exist outside of the Harbour City.

Late Day Tamarama - cool cove beach, cooler when less people are there

Turkish Delight - angry owner, happy kebabs

NRL Fridays - those announcers get riled up when the guy is still 10 metres out. With the aforementioned Turkish Delight, it makes for good viewing.

333 bus - lightning quick, air conditioned, looks like an accordian and there's a fun circle ride in the middle when it turns

Mojos - tapas and sangria...bueno y delicioso

Dominoes Tuesdays - if you can get takeout for under $6 in this town, that's a DEAL

Sticky date pudding - this stuff is like crack on the dessert menu; we once went out of our way to order this takeaway from a sit-down restaurant

Spit to Manly - amazing views of the city, just as good kangaroo burger at the end.

Green/blue ocean water - it makes Oz look like some tropical South Pacific island. Oh wait, it is

Sport celebrations - these guys don't dance around like idiots when they score a try

Mom and pop shops - Wal Mart America hasn't taken hold of this place yet, which is refreshing.

Vaucluse - big houses and even bigger views of the city. Closest thing you'll get to a sunset in Sydney

Daily Telegraph - it's like the Daily News, except bigger and doesn't have the Yankees on the cover.

Coopers - the Sierra Nevada/Fat Tire of Oz, pale ale that you roll before opening.

Grand Finals - not as big as the Super Bowl, but the footy finals are near my bday and a sign that summer is around the corner.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Lost in Translation

Since I'm moving back to Southern California from Oz, I've translated Aussie phrases I've learned into SoCal. For any others around the country, this may require yet another translation...

G'day mate
Cali: what's up dude
Everywhere else: hey there

Good on ya
Cali: nice
Everywhere else: splendid

Chockers
Cali: woah, that's alot
Everywhere else: a bunch

Sweet as
Cali: alllright
Everywhere else: quite good

Flat out/flat chat
Cali: super busy
Everywhere else: not available

16:20
Cali: 4:20 duuude!
Everywhere else: hey, happy hour

What's the go?
Cali: What's happening, bro?
Everywhere else: what are your plans?

Fully sick
Cali: cool
Everywhere else: cool

Pear shaped
Cali: bummer
Everywhere else: not going well

No worries
Cali: no worries
Everywhere else: it's ok

Tops
Cali: gnarly
Everywhere else: the best

Thongs
Cali: Rainbows
Everywhere else: sandals

On the piss
Cali: totally wasted
Everywhere else: inebriated

Taking the piss
Cali: busting balls
Everywhere else: just joking

Suss it out
Cali: chill, we'll get it
Everywhere else: let's figure this out

Capsicum
Cali: the hot veggies that go in my fajita, please
Everywhere else: the hot veggies that go in other, non-Meixican dishes

Heaps
Cali: loads, man
Everywhere else: bunches

Chalk and cheese
Incomplete, I still haven't figured this one out

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Silly Sydney














So about a month ago, I got a job offer back in America, which officially will end my time down under on May 18 and cease the Aussie Adventures for a good while. With a vacation to Thailand in between then, it only leaves me about three weeks to soak in the Harbour City and surroundings. A good part of that time will be catching-up with friends for the last time and tying up loose ends. Don't worry, I'll save time for a kebab or two before then.

Before I go, I wanted to share with those planning to come here some more aspects about Sydney (and all of Oz for that matter) that I find amusing. Maybe you will, too.

They really like their tank tops. They call them singlets here, and apparently it's warm enough to wear sleeveless shirts on a regular basis. I haven't rocked my guns too often, but invest in bright singlets if you're an apparel maker.

While you're at it, make jean shorts and white slipon shoes. Don't know where this fascination came from, but it's a pretty funny look these kids have adopted. Jorts are actually popular and not considered completely redneck. On a trip back to the states recently, my friend Meghan would not let her Aussie boyfriend Adrian roll to a SD Chargers game wearing jorts. Good call.

An all-boys school near my work has the most ridiculous uniforms. So they do the shorts, pulled up socks with shoes, ties and jackets as you would expect in Australia and England. If that's not enough to get your ass kicked, they have to constantly wear these barbershop looking brimmed hats at all times. I'm waiting for a group of them to break out into a rendition of 'Hello, My Baby' at any given moment.

For some reason, ATM cards (which they call EFTPOS) go in and out of the ATM reeeeaaalllyy sloooowly. But the money that comes out sure is colorful.

Have I mentioned how the phrase 'shrimp on the barbie' isn't appropriate since they calls them prawns? Americans must've come up with that one, along with Outback Steakhouse and Fosters.

London has 'mind the gap,' while Sydney-area trains has the less memorable 'doors closing, please stand clear.' But they do have a place called Wooli Creek.

Rice Krispies are called Rice Bubbles, Frosted Flakes are called Frosties, Cocoa Puffs are called Cocoa Pops (without the bird mascot) and Burger King is called Hungry Jacks. There are Woolworths, but it's a supermarket chain with limited cereal isles. Fear not, they have KFCs that actually sell a form of chicken.

One of their official public holidays involves a horse race on a Tuesday. While NSW doesn't get this day off like Victoria and ACT, most people leave at 1:00 for the race at 3, which pretty much revolves around champagne and drinking. Another holiday, which is coming up soon, honors war veterans by betting on dice games.

It's one of the cleaner cities I've come across, but you'd be hard-pressed to find a publicly provided garbage can. One time at a train station, I just had to give up and leave my garbage on the ground. Is it lttering if you genuinely try to throw it away but run out of options?

Bondi is less of a Sydney suburb than a United Nations of transplants from around the world. I'd say Italian, Irish and French win. Or maybe that's just the riff raff I run into at the Dominoes on Tuesday nights.

Sometimes the buses just don't show up for their scheduled stop. Does this happen in other cities? I don't know, have never been a consistent public transporter. Oh, and people love running for public transport. My favorite is when they don't make it.

They have shampoo and conditioner, but never combined the two. Maybe it's a national rule; both in one bottle just doesn't exist.

Brick rules the day. Every other building I come across is made out of brick, and most of those buildings are relatively ugly. Which in the end, kind of makes Sydney look like a sunny Great Britain.


My next g'day Oz post will translate phrases from Aussie to Californian....stay tuned.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Journey to Jervis Bay

















Note to self: go to Jervis Bay if you want some great beaches, white soft sand, good trampolining, easy living and warm weather. Don't go there if you want your college basketball team to advance in the NCAA tournament.

A crew of us and assorted dogs made the 2.5 hour trip to Jervis on the last weekend of long summer days. Before taking the road on Friday night, I was told the correct pronounciation is 'JARvis," even with the E. Sure, why not, can do the pirate voice with that one. The rented house provided all the amenities: cable tv to watch all March Madness we need, yard for the pooches and a walkway out the backyard right to the beach. Even my room, which was seperated from a couple by a glassed door, offered the sound of waves crashing from the window.

After a late arrival and some Lingere Football League on Friday, we got up early enough to go for a morning swim and watch a tough loss by the Buckeyes. Damn you, Tennessee, couldn't even take it to the next game. But the day was saved with a trip to Cave Beach, where we surfed, boogie boarded and cricket-ed to our hearts content. And the water so shallow, waves calm enough, didn't even need to paddle out...the best kind of surfing. These beach experiences, complete with the green/blue water is one of many things I'll miss about these parts.

You know what tastes delicious? Mexican food, prepared by Andy, with a few cold beers. You know what Earth Hour is? 60 minutes where we don't get light or music, 60 looong minutes. You know what's more interesting than regular Scattergories? Filthy, dirty Scattgergories. With this group, the game left emotional scars that we're not likely to recover from. Ryan's attempts at coming up with a match for the letter O was pure genius. Adrian's dirty excuse for missing school was just awesome.

Unfortunately for Ry, the next day we caught his UK Wildcats clanging threes (and free throws) while going down to West Virginia. After that debacle, another swim and beer, we eventually had to confront the dreaded Sunday drive home - it's never welcome, but with Riley in tow, road trips are entertaining.

As for this year's Final Four, it's an enigma, I suppose Duke are the favorites. JAAAARRRrvis has to be one of my favorites in the Aussie adventures.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Why Baseball is Better Than Cricket



















A few weeks ago, I had the pleasure of experiencing a live match of Australia's beloved summertime sport, cricket. Most people know the sport as going for days on end, but me, Rory and the Dans went to the Sydney Cricket Ground to check out a 20/20match, which meant that the contest between Australia and the West Indies would actually end that night. Being a dirty Yank that I am, there didn't seem something right about the sport, though, in comparison to its Amercan sister sport, baseball. Actually, ten things.

1. No tailgating. This really is an issue with all Australian sports. For a country that enjoys a good barbeque and beers, this seems like a given. They need to learn how to hang out and do both from the back of a car.

2. The uniforms. For the 20/20 matches, they look like the warmup gear for the Washington Generals, complete with sponsor logos instead of team insignias. For the test matches, they all-white with wear knit sweaters and old-style caps. None of these combos really looks cool.

3. There's only two bases. Along with a lot less activity than four bases, I immediately wondered: how do they determine how far you get with a girl? Yeah man, I gave her a wicket last night. Huuuhh??

4. The food. No Cracker Jacks, hot dogs, nachos, or even KFC, even though it was the team's main sponsor! The closest thing I came to a hot dog had the texture of a toy hot dog and was the color of fire engine red. After waiting for 15 minutes in one of the two concession stands, I opted for a meat pie and VB beer instead.

5. The format. Basically, cricket is kind of like baseball, except you watch one team have a 100 run inning, and then get to see if the other team can beat that. No back-and-forth like a good ballgame. When the West Indies only got 130 runs, you pretty much knew the Aussies were going to match it. I don't think the sport can ever really have a nail-biter bottom-of-the-ninth, two outs moment.

6. No home runs. Sure, they have something called a six, which is when the crowd cheers and the ball goes out of the park. But it's not that big of a deal when you're trying to get 150. Therefore, it's the equivalent of maybe a double. Again, no bases-loaded, edge of the seat moments.

7. What are they playing for? I'm still not sure what the whole summer's competition has been about. Against England, it's for somthing called the Ashes (and bragging rights). Maybe they're all playing for some free KFC.

9. No Wild Thing. It's a pretty cool moment when the reliever comes in to close out the deal in baseball. Think Eric Gagne circa 2003. That doesn't really happen in cricket, because the same few 'bowlers' are on the not-mound for the entire match.

10. You don't get to keep the ball. So when the guy hits six, fans have to throw it back. Not in the Wrigley Field style, but because they need the ball. So much for fan-friendly.

I could've mentioned that there's no 7th inning stretch, but don't want to pick on the sport. On a positive note, the Aussies did get past the 130 runs and whooped the Windies this summer. On to the Kiwis for another yet-to-determined title.

Sunday, February 28, 2010

El Bueno, El Malo y El Feo



















Chinatown has lots to offer in the way of food, including chicken buns for under two bucks and four emperor's puffs for a dollar. (Chinese New Year bueno) I shouldn't tell them how tasty these are, or else they'll raise em to normal Sydney prices. (which are regularly malo)

On the way to Tropfest, an annual short film festival held in Sydney (bueno), the overcrowded buses forced me to hoof it up to Bondi Junction and take the very same buses, only emptied out. I got to Tropfest an hour and a half late. (malo)

From Central Station, they offered shuttle buses right to the cricket grounds for the Australia-West Indies 20/20 match (bueno). Oh, but you couldn't use your regular bus ticket, you had to buy a special return ticket, even if you weren't returning (nooo bueno).

There's a pedestrian walk on the Harbour Bridge into the city. Instead of taking the bus a few weeks back, I hoofed it across the bridge while it's still staying light until 7 (bueno, bueno).

Speaking of summertime hours, I've fallen into the habit of either running to, or running beforehand, and then going to the beach around 6 or 7. (so very bueno). Today, however, there was a tsunami warning after an earthquake in Chile. (obvious malo).

Foxtel (the cable service) has four new channels dedicated to Olympic coverage from Vancouver (a cool bueno), but even for long-time subscribers, they charge us for these channels (lame malo).

I recently noticed they sell Ben and Jerry's here now (bueno!). Oh, but it costs $12.50 for a self-sized carton (uhhh, seriously? malo).

The train to work is quicker and arrives more frequently, but it's pretty depressing and there are changes. The bus ticket is cheaper and no changes, but it takes longer and only arrives once every 20 minutes. (hmm, both bueno and malo).

I have a really cool girlfriend (bueno), who currently lives 17,000 miles away (muy malo).

I recently went bowling for friends' birthdays (bueno), but bowled by far the worst score of the group (feo). A group that included guys and girls.